Oh yes I the British born confused Indian, yeah I know all you people living in India refer to us that way, but alas we have names for you but ill refrain from indulging and go back to the conversation at hand! I married my Mr in India the capital with all the frills the loudness the glitz the dazzle razzle and the hip shaking dance moves! It was a blast and thats how the Punjabis do it.
|Crowne Plaza New Delhi Okhla|
Our mothers and fathers end up saving all their lives for that one day of holy matrimony, its quite ridiculous but so much fun and a great way to bring people together to dress over the top dance for every little thing one can think of and generally just have a hoot with family and friends.
Usually in Indian weddings months of preparations take place from booking the venues to the flower arrangements to the favour boxes its all fine tuned to the smallest detail. Mr being a Virgo had a excel spreadsheet compiled so that each person knew what job they were doing I think at that precise point I realised we had a groomzilla on hand not a bridezilla! come on I flew in from London 10 days before the wedding, did my wedding shopping as in my bridal clothes, matching jewellery accessorise everything all the gifts that needed to be given to the new family members all shopped in one day kid you not! rest of the days was spent chilling organising the home events sorting music and generally just enjoying the chaos of India the hullabaloo of my family, did I mention that I have a loud proud Punjabi family from Punjab who do nothing quietly, personally I love it I think may have shocked my Delhi In laws! we came with shiny shirts big moustaches loud sister in laws and cousins and generally chaos with kids running around no one listening to anyone. I remember sitting back when my mehndi was taking place thats Henna to those of you who don't know and looking around and feeling such elation that we were all together a miss some elder members taking pics catching up smiling and just loving being part of such a big family. Thank-you mum for making it happen and being the proud mum that you are! my dads the cool dude who turned up to attend! my mum was left to organise the rest! with my Bhua dads sister. Everyone under the sun gets involved.
We also all have an opinion, even when you don't want the opinion its forced upon you but you smile and take it with gratitude to only then realise someone else is wanting something else done and you have just agreed to the same one thing a hundred different ways! its ok thats what happens and mostly you will have at least 10 relatives that will be annoyed with you for not having listened to them for one thing or another! its great and you get used to it.
I married in Delhi Crowne Plaza, it was July and the sweltering heat was oven like , all my makeup melted off my clothes felt itchy and uncomfortable but the venue we chose was beautiful and the indian religious ceremony took place poolside at the hotel with beautiful white flowers surrounding the man dap cool summers breeze gently surrounding us it truly was magical and I thank our family for making this happen.
I wore Red oh yes the shiny red dazzle outfit was mine with red eyeshadow and red lips not exactly my choice of colours but I got my makeup done professionally and couldn't really complain too much seen as i chose her based on, online reviews! oh well at least I matched . Mr was in traditional mens wear with a sword I'm not quite sure what the significance is but he insisted on wearing it and coming to the venue on horse with drum players , I repeat we don't do anything quietly ! .
Ceremonies take their own sweet time! and sometimes when I looked up time felt like it stood still and maybe in some ways I wanted it to so that I could capture that moment forever in my heart! to have my relatives present that I normally don't see my dads brothers all there just so sweet.
I believe in commitment whether marriage works for someone fine. The institution works for me, not for all and lets not forget that those planning weddings is fine and so much fun it is only one day make sure you concentrate more on the vows you are keeping with each other. Things will change every step of the way change is constant but know that your foundations of friendship and communication should remain strong whatever may happen. Easier said than done!
I loved every moment of this chapter, and treasured my family surrounding me! and supporting me throughout hard decisions that I needed to make. I stayed in India for a further 3 months to connect with my new family and to generally spend some time with Mr. I travelled a great deal after that but I will leave that for another blog.
Marriages take time to develop two completely different lives living together and trying to amalgmate and entwine with each other take time, be patient with things and know that sometimes you have to pick your disagreements and be the better person and let some things go! 3 years on we are still laughing and joking and certainly more closer through things. I recommend it! lol otherwise commitment in life is good too.
Have you got married yet? or thinking about it ? what apprehensions do you have? Or are you in a committed relationship and don't think it necessary let me know I love your comments and thoughts!
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Until Next Week
Unscripted and Unapologetic